99 reasons why you should HATE soccer!

This is going to be like trying to tell people that bunnies are evil. So i don't expect your feable little minds convinced that soccer is the Best sport on the face of the earth to understand any of this. Still reading? Good God you know what you can go to a different page now there is nothing holding you here!! Dang you must be mad, but then again why do I care? Also this a page to laugh at not to get all serious about ( if you didn't read that last bit it isn't my problem)
For the people still reading this this is going to be a count down from 99 to 1.
99 The Rainbow: /peacock/rooster tail/did u see that/juke........Only 1 name please
98 The names of the positions: What? attacker? come one what are you attacking and keeper? you don't want the ball near you!
97 How soccer companies use child labor to make the balls: It is really sad what millionaires do to make more money
96 They get stretchers: Your team should carry you off the field. lazy jerks
95 How everyone thinks that the MLS is a joke: It kinda is isn't it.
94 The fact that goalies have different jerseys: I know that is so no one can just say they are goalie but really? they look like male strippers in troughs things
93 The magic spray garentyed to cure any ingery in 2 sprays and your flop back garentied! (might have this one...don't know)
92 The let downs: I just read a story about a kid in aferica that went to a soccer game just to see his hero fake a ingery and get a red card...sad
91. The "clearings": Even when your team is losing you don't leave because you just payed 120$ to see your team lose and dang it you are gonna see the whole thing
90 The fact that the goal's bars are steel Other than getting klited in the face i think diving into this is the only way to get a fatity in this sport
89 The goalie kick: Ok maybe the gollie needs something a little more relaxing to do.
88 The over serous coaches: Some kids do need these coaches but no matter what sport these guys are hard to get along with soccer just has an abondunce
87 How americans suck profectionally but could beat Europe at 15 years old: Man why do the pros suck but the 15 year olds are great...IT DOESN'T MAKE SENCE
86 How most soccer players think ever other sport is boring "Its because it takes skill to play thoughs"
85 The fact that Asia has to make soccer balls to fit in: Please no offence to Asian people.
84 Just the fact that u run around endlessly kicking the ball: its almost embarissing
83 The people who talk soccer up beond sanity: Ok i admit that i had a hard time coming up with these (after 70) but everything that could be bad isn't when i talk to some people
82 The tight compacting stadiums: I just want to know what would happen if someone puked on someone....
81 The fact that i acualy have to put 99 reasons to get u to think about it: Well come on its true!
80. The sports anouncers: Sports anouncer 1 "And he kicks the ball" SA2 "ohhh yes that was a great kick" SA1"ohhh now he carys the ball" SA2 "yes he does"......(i feel asleep while tiping thier diolog)
79 The KO's: i love it when they colide together and then they both get knocked out and the coach goes out to argue which player should get the red card.
78 The golden shoes That video sucks. I personally hate it. By the way i know it is real
77 Failures: they missed a wide open goal....wow
76 The racism: When an argument gets to the climax in Europe the final blow is the person who says "Ohh yeah? Well we beat you guys 3 to nothing last week!!!"
75 The couples: a couple going to a soccer game trying to be romantic and all with the screaming going over 100 Decibels
74. The Cherry picker clubs: They go down to afterica find kids who are good playing soccer with a frickin blow up pig bladder and then "give them the life they never had"
73 T.V "Time for some nice tv. Sports yea!"..."Soccer" *change* "Soccer agian"...."Soc, WAIT WHAT THE HECK?"..."NO!!! GO AWAY!!!
72 The ticket prices: I have been charged money for watching my own cousin play.
71 The Noise: It is hard to enjoy a game when you are deaf. There is a worthless amount of noise with the "action" going on the field
70 Penitently kicks: Hey that is off sides! You get a perfect shot into a 5m by 2m 5m away...Good way to end a bad game huh?
69 The coach's child: Instantly best player and team captain or the ball boy who never plays.
68 Artificial turf Who wants to play on fake grass?! No bad hops no interesting struggles. When the field is agents you it makes the game way more fun. Or just another thing to blame for soccer players
67 Snow: I never seen a soccer game played in snow. And for the people who say "Well the ball is white" make it orange...idiots
66 Team pride: As an innocent bystander i am appalled you guys can argue over this for over 10 hours
65 After game dunks: The sad part is there team lost and they are still drunk and happy
64 Braggers: "My team one the world tour of the world 9013987209840198374 times" (WE DON'T CARE!)
63 The Complainers: The guys who constantly argue with the ref they are just making a fool of themselves.
62 Adidas: It's all day i dream about sports! not fricking soccer just another reason to show that you people can be really self centered
61. The Blamers: The people who blame everything on the goalie or the defense
60 Red Cards: Wow you break the rules and all you get it a red card? that is almost more worse then blue cards
59 Tricks: Never used before. All you do is run around them and if they do happen to juke someone out it becomes a dinner conversation for the soccer adict after watching it on youtube 56 times...and counting
58: Cherry picking players: Eruopeains are jerks when it comes to this they go down into
57 How old it is: Man, it is so old!! It needs to have something happen to it! Also all of thouse people who say that it has done everything and other sports copyed soccer, yeah we did so we could find something better to do
56 The Re-starts/Start: Passing 4 feet to start the game? This is why hockey and basketball have a "Jump ball"
55 Own goals: Just to prove my point that some soccer players are stupid
54 Honking: IN EUROPE after the team next to me wins a game the europains think it is proper to tell someone by honking in the middle of the road.. I have lost hours of sleep over this. That should be agenst the law but then again the policemen are doing it too.
53 Fighting: From the headbutting to the kicking and falling this makes a descry of men
52 Soccer Cards: Wow, if you have these someone screwed you over. Loser, you spend almost $1.19 a pack just for a photo, wow. Ok, that was mean. sorry
51 Indoor soccer: And soccer wasn't bad enough now they have to go inside...
50 Defenders: LAZY they are just there to make the goalie feel like he isn't alone
49 Headers Ohhh ok so you can use your head but not your hands.
48. Corner kicks: A failure from the start
47 Yellow cards: Well that's intimidating
46 Simpleminded people: The people who think that soccer is the only sport known to man and there is no alternative to the great sport. Honestly i want to know is there a soccer god? it is like a religion!
45 Midfield They are the dogs of soccer constantly running around getting the ball just to lose it, again
44 Forwards: How come the Forwards get all the credit for scoring what about the defenders who clear the ball? Yeah that is a team sport.
43 The shoes NO shoes should cost that much with nothing but spray paint and rubber cones on the end of them
42 Shin Gards For all the people who "get hurt" i don't think they work
41 Rain? The only part about soccer that makes it fun is playing it in the rain in the mud and stuff? Why would you want to cancel the game then?
40 The People who love soccer more than their wife: They are so dang stubborn and they teach their son to die for any known soccer player alive
39. City pride: I guess you can say this in any sports but soccer just goes over the deep end.
38 The Know-it-alls: They can't lose they make up rules in there favor just to win...Jerks
37 Beer: Giving a beer to a person who is already about to scream and fight? Not my idea.
36 The Hair To the Dreadlocks to the Spikes soccer hair stiles have remained the dumbest looking for the past 800 years
35 Off sides: This is like rewarding the Defender for letting you go by.
34 Useless?: What skills does soccer teach you? (Don't even try saying sportsmanship or teamwork.)
33 The Running: You just ran 90 minutes for that?! Loser
32 Hand balls: It wouldn't be the worst sport ever without it.
31 Soccer: GOD IT HAS TWO NAMES PICK ONE. Acutely even more than two names only two names in english
30 The Ball: This is were soccer really gets its originality 120$ just to have a ball with paint on it that wears off in the mud instantly. Two words RIP OFF
28 The Wussies: These guys have to be streched before EVERY game and are payed 1 million$$$ and they can't even strech themselves.
27 The moves: In soccer pratice you pratice moves and stuff BUT YOU NEVER USE THEM! All you have to do is just go around the guy or swich directions
26 The Coaches: Most can't speak english and/or can't find anything better on T.V
25 England: Its not that i don't like english people its just that they brag about inventing soccer. They also invented Criket which has T time after an hour.
24 The Video games: The video games that use soccer as the game are just boring it is A to pass B to shoot ohh wait there is no pass button because no one ever passes! It also gives the fatties who can't play soccer to feel included.
23 The Wall: i understand why it needs to be there but it is really just stupid to line up to get hit by a ball in the face
22 The clock? Can you really not just stop the clock when it needs to?!?
21 Wardrobe: Soccer uniforms look like a blind man picked out the colors they are either really boring or really stupid looking. And why do you wear long selves and shorts that look more like mini skirts?
20 Money: For kicking a ball around you make a lot of money
19 The names How come every soccer player last name has over 34 letters in there name and is really hard to pronounce
18 Cristian Rinaldo: Fail..Makes any excuse to fall on the ground
16 MLS Even that is a sad excuse for soccer
15. David Beakam: Any 3 year old and whiff the ball so it turns in for a good corner kick
14 Challenge: It is really not that hard to play soccer not a lot of skill is involved with it but it does take skill to be good. Why do you think people can play it once they turn 3?!
13 Throw ins: What? Really? now all of a sudden you are able to use your hands?... Hippocrates
12. The point: I mean really all you do is run around looking like idiots trying to get a ball in a net soccer is like track and field just with a ball
11. The whole "Well it is the most popular sport in the world" thing: I have been arguing why soccer sucks for as long as i can remember and every one always says "Well it is the most popular sport in the world!" BIG DEAL!
10. Soccer players in general. (FYI i know a lot of good people that are soccer players so this might not be you...but i bet it is)
9 Getting hit in the Face: Do you really need to read this to find out why i don't like it?
8Free kicks: All you need to be as a free kicker is to be able to hit the ball 1 million miles an hour and kill the goalie...
8.2 The magic spray: Sure it is ice and it "numbs" the pain but for how much acting they do they should stay down there forever if it really hurt that bad
7 Cherry pickers: they kick the ball 4 feet and score....again....again.....OHH HE MISSED!...and again and again
6 Ball hogs You know who you are. I play soccer sometimes (when i am forced to in P.E) and NO ONE passes everyone thinks that they are all that and don't need to pass....idiots they ruin an already ruined game.
5. The Celebrations Once someone gets lucky and scores a goal they celibate. Great cool don't have a problem with that. But they run off by themselves. ONLY in soccer they do that. even in real football people don't do that you run to your team, for god sakes it wasn't all you.
4 The Referees With pocket protector in hand and with little pieces of paper and power these guys make all the slappers and the nail breakers pay. They are mostly guys who can't get a job off the streets and would rather get people pissed of in a game than at Burger King
3. Arguing. NO Soccer player i know can not just let something go they have to argue over everything for the sake of arguing. It could be over if whoever was off sides or something dumb like that and to all of the soccer players out there. no one cares (except for number 2)
2. The Fans. ALMOST every soccer fan you see that start the fights are fat ugly and have beer in there right hand and there son in the other.
1. MOMMAS BOYS! anyone who was swept in to the horrible world of soccer is that every one is a weakling!! There has been NO GAME in the history of Soccer where someone hasn't been "hurt."